I am an Abolitionist
...for whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise. (john 5:19)
Isaiah 42:7 (NASB) To open blind eyes, To bring out prisoners from the dungeon And those who dwell in darkness from the prison.
Growing up in a small community where I was assaulted daily for the first 13 years of my life for the color of my skin left me broken and tainted. My perspective of the world was that it is unjust and very cruel, and love was only for fictional characters. I saw men as objects that had no heart with zero feelings or emotions; it actually never dawned on me that men were even human. I viewed nice guys as fake or gay. As I grew older and the physical abuse stopped the emotional abuse intensified, and my soul wounds festered. They were horribly infected and constantly oozed into my life and onto everything I touched. I was like a disease walking through life wholly hidden by my outgoing personality and my ability to make people laugh. I was the party girl; I rarely missed one. Always good for a fun time – use me, abuse me, whatever you wanted to do I was readily available.
I had no concept of personal boundaries, self-worth or value, I didn’t see men as human beings, and I guess I didn’t see myself as one either. I had dreams, but on the rare occasion, a man came along in my life for longer than a night I was more than happy to forget my dreams to take on his – just as long as he stayed. Codependency on fleek.
At the age of 27, I finally came to a point in life where I could not go one step further. I was married and pregnant with my second child. My husband was extremely abusive, a cheater, a liar, and a drunk. I was finding it harder and harder to push the screaming festering wounds in my soul down into the dark places…there was no room left. I finally stopped running and turned my life over to the Lord.
But I was still broken. Still Captive. Still Imprisoned.
Two years after my youngest child was born, on New Year’s Eve 1999, my husband packed up his things (just before his party started) and left me for the many other women he was involved with. I was two years young into my commitment to the Lord. Jesus was alive in me, and I was beginning to find Truth. My inner man was being restored, I was plugged into a church, bible study, church family, and I had godly friends. I was confident I could make it through this season.
Two years after my first husband bailed – I married again.
still broken. Still Captive. Still Imprisoned.
2 Timothy 3:1-7 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these. 6 For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
I was in every way the woman Paul spoke of in 2 Timothy 3:6. I was convinced a man (these non humans) would make my life make sense…I had zero understanding of my real value, and I fell hard for the man Paul described because I was a weak woman, held captive by sin and various impulses. For 10 years I remained in the most mentally and emotionally abusive relationship of my life. Not only was he a fraud, an unbeliever who pretended to be a believer during our courting days, but he was also a narcissist, a pathological liar, a misogynist who is secretly gay, and a sociopath. I almost did not survive it…my poor innocent children suffered through it with me.
TEN YEARS LATER
By July 4, 2012, I finally won my independence from the worst situation I had ever walked through as an adult. The second man I called husband left in the middle of the night…my household was free. But I wasn’t free. I was still broken. Still Captive. Still Imprisoned. The difference this time is I no longer desired to be captive. I no longer wanted to be imprisoned by the soul wounds that festered and grew, and I was no longer willing to settle as a broken shamed woman. The Bible says whom the son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36). I wanted to be free. I needed to be FREE.
Time to Get Real. I'm Broken.
I studied everything I could get my hands on relating to a word the Lord had given me: Trauma Wounds. Everywhere I went I “coincidentally” ran into specialist and doctors who worked with men and women who had been deeply traumatized in their lives. I asked every one of them “Can a person who has been traumatized suffer from an inner wounding such as a trauma wound. Every single one of them gave me a resounding “YES.”
Author and Apostle Katie Sousa calls them Soul Wounds. Finally, after years and years of living like I was not human, I finally began to get free of my wounding. I admitted that I had been wronged and that I had wronged. The Lord opened my eyes to many childhood pains of the past I could not see, I sought the Lord through fasting and prayer, and he met me there.
The Lord healed me of PTSD, he taught me about codependency, and how to respect men, and myself through my recovery group. I was immersed, by the leading of the Lord, into accountability groups, recovery groups, and bible classes. I learned from many different Christian teachers about soul wounds, inner healing, and deliverance. Mark Virkler and "Seven Prayers that Heal the Heart'" played a significant role in my real Independence Day recovery cycle. Finally, I began to see.
TRUTH SETS THE CAPTIVE FREE. I am Free. From Prisoner to Abolitionist.
Many people wander this planet entirely wrecked by devastating childhoods or lousy adult decisions. The enemy loves to heap on feelings of abandonment, shame, illegitimacy, rejection, and all forms of demonic oppression.
Where the wounded areas exist the enemy has legal access. Where there is sin - the enemy thrives.
The Kingdom of God is set up on Mt Zion a courtroom in heaven. From the teachings of Robert Henderson
Malachi 3:2-6 ESV 2 But who can endure the day of his coming, and who can stand when he appears? For he is like a refiner's fire and like fullers' soap. 3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the Lord. 4 Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the Lord as in the days of old and as in former years. 5 “Then I will draw near to you for judgment. I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, against the adulterers, against those who swear falsely, against those who oppress the hired worker in his wages, the widow and the fatherless, against those who thrust aside the sojourner, and do not fear me, says the Lord of hosts.
Daniel 7:9-10 NASB 9 “I kept looking Until thrones were set up, And the Ancient of Days took His seat; His vesture was like white snow And the hair of His head like pure wool. His throne was ablaze with flames, Its wheels were a burning fire. 10 “A river of fire was flowing And coming out from before Him; Thousands upon thousands were attending Him, And myriads upon myriads were standing before Him; The court sat, And the books were opened.
Daniel 7:25-26 NASB 25 He will speak out against the Most High and wear down the saints of the Highest One, and he will intend to make alterations in times and in law; and they will be given into his hand for a time, times, and half a time. 26 But the court will sit for judgment, and his dominion will be taken away, annihilated and destroyed forever.
Luke 18:4-8 4 For a while he was unwilling; but afterward he said to himself, ‘Even though I do not fear God nor respect man, 5 yet because this widow bothers me, I will give her legal protection, otherwise by continually coming she will wear me out.’” 6 And the Lord said, “Hear what the unrighteous judge *said; 7 now, will not God bring about justice for His elect who cry to Him day and night, and will He delay long over them? 8 I tell you that He will bring about justice for them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?”
Wake Up the Prosecutor is Satan
Revelation 12:10 the accuser of the brethren accuses us before God day and night. He brings up our sin and the sin of generations who came before us. We are on trial!
In Luke 18 when we pray we step into a judicial system. There is conflict in the courtroom but take heart the Lord presides over the court. The woman appeared before the Judge to plead her case, and the judge who was a man became weary of her. God does not grow tired of us! He wants justice to rule the land – bring your case before the righteous Judge!
Soul Wounds.
Where the enemy has attacked, he has used sin in the attack. Where sin is the enemy is. He’ll remain there until he is found out and removed. Only truth can do that. This is where the battle begins – long-festering soul wounds entangle themselves around our soul. It’s like cancer that resides within us. The Bible says that a root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble and defiles many (Hebrews 12:15b).
The Soul = Mind, Will, & Emotions.
The battlefield indeed is the mind. If the enemy can keep you stuck – ignoring your soul wounds, putting on a tough outer exterior, pulling up your bootstraps and moving on, he’s got you. He oppresses you and tortures you daily with feelings of un-forgiveness, shame, and distrust in the Lord. You're in prison, in the darkest of places, locked in a dungeon! You are the captive, not the person(s) who caused you harm. The enemy has you bound. I also believe this same stronghold rules and reigns within the Black community. I am convinced that a spirit of slavery has taken the people captive.
set the captives free!
My heart’s desire is to see the people of God free from the depths of the dungeons; the soul wounds that bind us and hinder our walks. I am an abolitionist – I believe firmly in deliverance! It’s time for the people of God to walk in power and authority. Freedom from the snare of the devil. Freedom from the eternal pit of hell. Freedom from the grave. It’s all a part of Gods desire for us. As the Lord leads, we must face the causes of our soul wounds and get set FREE.
Galatians 5:1 It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore,
keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.
