and then death pursued her

Watchman

Aug 1

An open Vision

She is a damaged girl…

Broken and left for the world to have its way with her…and so it does. She needs and wants, but at the end of the day, she goes without. So she grows, and the wounds grow with her, some dormant, waiting for the perfect moment to rear their ugly head; others she lives out of believing that what they say about her is true.

She lives a life waiting for the world to fail her, and because that is her expectation, she finds it. Always cutting, always tearing away at her flesh, the recklessness of it all ends with blood and breaking; cold emptiness with layers of unmet expectations and bottomless pits of razor sharp rocks…it’s where she makes her bed.

Their teeth are like cut and broken glass, and their words…the words of death constantly ringing in her ears. It fills her spirit with the taste of blood after being hit. Fear ravishes her mind and body, leaving her shaking and writhing in shame. It is so constant that it becomes routine—anything outside of that she destroys with her own need to maintain the negative.

She is like a working alcoholic, and her success in various areas of her life hides the truth of who she really is. She receives applause and recognition, and she dares to believe in her mind that her past is healed…until she is tested and exposed. Her vulnerability lay bare for all to see the truth of who she is. It reaches the heights with a stench that none can stand, so they run from her and her worst friend, abandonment steps into view, and she succumbs to it all…

Until the day that she has gone too far, and she dares to hope for something good. She dares to dream that perhaps she can have something worthy of love. She is a liar, and she knows it – a fraud that has pushed the envelope too far. They come for her…she cannot maintain her fake life, and the truth of her ugliness reveals itself. She is torn from her new “safe place,” and they drag her before the court. She is there in all of her broken glory – with the audience chanting for her demise. The truth is she deserves the stones, she has earned them through her travesty of a life, and she is all too aware of it.

And as the men she so longs for stoop down to pick up the stones or stand with judgmental arms crossed, she knows what to do…but then she sees the dream that she almost had, and the most unbearable pain comes when he walks away.

Deep breath…she regains her composure, fixes her eyes on the stones, and memorizes the mouths of the ones spewing hatred at her nakedness. She is in part relieved for that familiar pain. She considers wrapping herself in it like a coat just one last time as she trusts that the stones will end her pathetic hopeless life this time.

The words stain her heart, yet there is no comparable pain to the hope lost. As the stones whirl through the air, they connect with an already numb and lifeless body. She can feel them striking, but yet it's like they don’t have power. It's surreal, all playing in slow motion…she can see the crowd and its blood thirst rising, she can hear the chants and the evil laughter - a scream goes forth that is so loud and anguished she wonders if someone is going to stop it all…but then she realizes that it came from her…that one last plea that falls on angry and deaf ears.

She looks down to see her flesh tearing and blood falling to the ground, and she wonders if anyone will ever care that on this day, her torment ended. Will there be anyone that will celebrate the good in her? She can feel the ground beneath her as it catches her. It's harsh, and the dirt burns the open wounds. They are above her now, hissing and screaming – her ears are ringing, and all she can taste is blood, dirt, and sweat. Her eyes are swelling, so focusing on the teeth and the mouths of her murderers is becoming harder.

She can hear her heart beating – it’s so loud. The cold sets in, and there is no reprieve as her breathing becomes shallow. There is no sorrow for her death, only celebration that her evil will finally end.

No one stops it.

No one steps in.

Death comes for her and she falls hopelessly into its arms.

And...death overwhelms

Death is so final in the mind of the world. It is the ending that proves we are human and that at that stated time, we will all fade away. But to Him, death is the beginning of life. It is the promise of a seed dying and then – only then bearing fruit. It is the deep uprooting of lies and filth. The old man and old ways need to come to an end…and so as the Savior died, a painful death, a shameful death for all to see, it is for me as a believer to relish being able to do the same. In death – life begins, promises come to pass, and lives are forever changed because death occurred. It is the story of the cross and the redeeming power of a God who loves without measure.

Galatians 2:20 (NASB)

20 I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life, which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

The cross of Christ is not an easy process. We are called to death. Death of the flesh; the old man, and all that it encompasses so that we may live as Christ. There is a cost to the journey with Christ, and it will cost you everything. But, then again, when you are at a place of knowing you need a savior, is there anything worth holding onto? All we have, all we are, is worthy of laying down for the privilege of living as Christ. Speaking of cost, the price of sin is too great! There is nothing in this life worth an eternity without Jesus. Lay down your life so that you may LIVE.

So we die. And as He watched His son die to give us a pathway home, He will watch us die to set us on the path of righteousness. Sown in dishonor, in Christ we will be raised in glory, sown in weakness, in Christ we will be raised in power.

1 Corinthians 15
36 You fool! That which you sow does not come to life unless it dies; 37 and that which you sow, you do not sow the body which is to be, but a bare grain, perhaps of wheat or of something else. 38 But God gives it a body just as He wished, and to each of the seeds a body of its own. 39 All flesh is not the same flesh, but there is one flesh of men, and another flesh of beasts, and another flesh of birds, and another of fish….42 So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown a perishable body, it is raised an imperishable body; 43 it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; 44 it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 45 So also it is written, “The first MAN, Adam, BECAME A LIVING SOUL.” The last Adam became a life-giving spirit. 46 However, the spiritual is not first, but the natural; then the spiritual. 47 The first man is from the earth, earthy; the second man is from heaven. 48 As is the earthy, so also are those who are earthy; and as is the heavenly, so also are those who are heavenly. 49 Just as we have borne the image of the earthy, we will also bear the image of the heavenly.

And so, the celebration begins in the one who has died! Something has forever changed and the world in which I live will never be the same. I must die so that Christ can live.